


In A Galaxy Far Far Away

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Characters Watching Star Wars, Dorks in Love, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mentions of COVID-19, Metafiction, Poe Dameron Being a Little Shit, Quarantine, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben and Poe are stuck in quarantine. Naturally, that’s the perfect time to introduce Poe to the Space Battles franchise. Hilarity ensues.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3
Collections: The Darkpilot Library





	1. “A fucking moon-shaped monstrosity”.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oldestcharm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldestcharm/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call this an idea I had for a while. Dedicated to oldestcharm — part of the inspiration was the fact I had such a good time one night watching TFA with her.

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

Ben looked over in astonishment at his boyfriend, Poe, who seemed to not realize that he had said something that, in Ben’s opinion, was utterly unthinkable. 

”You haven’t seen Space Battles?” Ben liked to think he knew a lot about Poe — his tastes in music, his sense of humor, his chronic hero syndrome, just about everything. But this?

Poe sighed. “You’re staring at me like I just committed blasphemy.”

”Maybe you did. Okay, I’m kidding. But...they really are good movies. Wonderful movies, actually. I might as well have something to get us through quarantine, so...”

”Could be fun,” Poe said. “So...do you have the DVDs?”

”I lost some of the Original Trilogy ones, but fortunately, Disney and Lucasfilm were nice enough to put them on Disney Plus. God bless."

”God bless indeed,” Poe said. “All right...so, isn’t there some Machete Order you have to watch them in?”

”The Machete Order can suck my dick.”

Poe laughed in surprise. “Well, that’s certainly something to put in a Tweet.”

”Okay, but really, when you consider some of the spin-off films...”

”Spin-offs?” Poe said. 

”Oh, there was one that basically told us how they got the plans to destroy that superweapon the Empire uses,” Ben said. “Big, moon-shaped thing. But yeah, speaking of which, we should start with A New Hope first. Less depressing that way.”

”Define depressing.”

”Well, _Rogue One_ is where everyone dies, so...”

”Yeah,” Poe said. “Let’s go with the happy save-the-galaxy story one first.”

***

”Holy fuck, those opening credits are awesome!”

Ben turned towards Poe, grinning. “Something about that music, huh?” he said, and Poe found that that was one of many things he loved about his boyfriend, that smile. 

"Yeah. Also, holy fucking shit, that’s an amazing shot.” Poe pointed to the screen even as...something glided across the screen, shooting at a smaller ship. They’d done that in 1977 or so? That was amazing. Marvel movies, eat your heart out. 

“And it’s building up to the best character in the whole series,” Ben said. 

Poe watched as the two robots shuffled down the hallways of the ship. He couldn’t say what the whole “main reactor” thing meant, but he could only assume that very, very bad shit was going to happen. 

Although judging by Ben’s muffled, vaguely squee-like noise when the black-cloaked figure who looked like he’d made his mask out of someone’s skull made his appearance, it was probably mixed in with some awesome shit too. 

”Oh, you are the best character in the Saga,” Ben gushed, even as said figure ordered the ship to be torn apart to look for the passengers. “Yes, you are magnificent.”

”Never pegged you for a villain fanboy,” Poe said, but he was smiling. 

”Oh, he’s a wonderful character," Ben said. “He’s just...coolness personified but he’s also really sad too. You’ll see when you get into the prequels.”

”Wait, this guy has his own trilogy?”

”Yeah, starts off with him as a kid and everything.”

Poe blinked. Then, “Was he like that kid from _Children of the Corn_?”

Ben snorted. “You watch too many horror movies."

”I’m just sayin', usually when the villain shows up as a kid, they’re stabbing their older sisters to death.”

”You take that back,” Ben scolded, semi-seriously. “Little Vader is an angel.”

”I’ll take your word for it."

***

”Oh my fuck.” Poe was already staring at the screen, feeling more uncomfortable by the moment as young Kane Starkiller whined about going to Tosche Station to pick up power converters. "I swear it’s like they read my LiveJournal in high school.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “You had a LiveJournal?”

”Before they jumped the shark, yes.”

”I don’t know if websites can jump the shark...”

”Well, LiveJournal did,” Poe said. “One of my LJ friends must have been a time traveler from the past who based this character on _me_.”

Ben laughed. “No, I think everyone was a self-centered ass as a teen.”

”Touché.” Even as the movie played on, and the princess’ hologram played on that sort of loop, Poe turned to Ben. “You know, I could show you some of my LiveJournal entries. Just so you can have a laugh.”

"Nah, you were a kid,” Ben said. “You’re twenty-six now. You’re better. A wonderful man.”

***

”Fuck, how do they do that?" Poe said, gaping at the binary sunset. A binary fucking sunset, and it looked beautiful. "It’s so...gorgeous and emotional and everything!”

”I know." Ben was beaming. “It really does capture how Kane feels. He’s not happy, where he is, and they show that without him having to say a word. That’s good moviemaking.” A sigh. “Not gonna lie; I’ll say that Kane is a little too relatable. Like, what teenager hasn’t felt trapped?”

”Yeah.” Poe could still remember his reunion with his father after running away at sixteen. The tears, the apologies...

If he could rewind and go back to being sixteen, he would have been less of an asshole to his father. 

***

It didn’t last long. Of course it didn’t. Of course R2-D2 had run off to the Dune Sea. Of course Alec Guinness made one hell of an entrance — imitating a sort of sound that made Poe think of a werewolf. 

”This guy’s a badass without even having to shoot anybody,” Poe said. 

Ben beamed. “Yes, he is.”

Even as Alec Guinness’ character told Kane about his dead father, Poe said, “Go figure the bad guy killed the hero’s dad.”

He didn’t miss how Ben was valiantly trying to keep a straight face. 

”Are you...okay?”

”Of course I’m okay,” Ben said, completely unconvincingly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

***

The movie played on. It seemed that the Empire really had it out for the Rebellion — and Kane. Poe took in the different alien species (pretty good effects for 1977, he thought), mourned Kane’s foster parents with him, and shouted “ASSHOLE!” when the Grand Moff decided to blow up the princess’ home planet full of innocent people for the sake of it.

”Asshole indeed,” Ben said. 

”Just, oh my God — how are they going to get the plans to safety in time?” Poe ran a hand through his hair. “How are they gonna defeat those guys?”

”Patience,” Ben teased. 

”If the Empire wins, I’ll throw something at the screen,” Poe said, and he was only semi-joking. 

***

Of course they didn’t. After holding his breath, occasionally laughing at something funny even if it was kind of uneasy, cussing out Vader for killing Kane’s mentor, and murmuring words of encouragement to Rogue Squadron as they took on a fucking moon-shaped monstrosity...they won. Poe sighed in relief even as they blew up the Death Star. “Thank fuck,” he said. “I will admit that how Vader got taken out was a little silly...”

”Well, yeah,” Ben said. “He’s still amazing.”

Poe grinned at him. “I’m so glad you suggested this.”

”No problem.”

***

The medal ceremony. The closing credits. Poe grinned at Ben. “You know,” he said. “That was awesome. I can see why you like it.”

”Oh, we haven’t even begun to get into the awesomeness,” Ben said, grinning. “Just, fair warning? Empire can get a bit brutal.”


	2. “Is Vader really that much of a sore loser after Yavin?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben watches ESB with Poe. Hilarity ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Dedicated to oldestcharm. I had such a good time watching TLJ with you. 😁

“How was school?” Poe said to Ben. 

Ben sighed. “Exhausting. I think one of the good things about having classes on Zoom is that you can just switch off your mic and camera if someone’s pissing you off. See also Hux.” To say that Hux and Ben hated each other, Poe thought, was one way to put it.

”Sorry about that,” Poe said. 

”Not your fault.” Ben sat next to him, comfortably, snuggling up to him; Poe thought almost of a cat needing to be petted. "So...Empire?”

”Let’s do this thing,” Poe said, grinning. 

Ben laughed. “Just a fair warning: Empire can get brutal.”

***

Brutal indeed — Poe found himself wincing at the wampa attack, and later the Rebellion getting curbstomped by the Empire. It definitely was different from A New Hope, and it made Poe wince at least a little. Even if Ben occasionally was grinning like a fool whenever Vader did something awesome — which was pretty frequent. Poe good-naturedly shook his head. 

And there was obvious sexual tension between the smuggler and the princess. Their arguments, with a heavy undercurrent of somehow liking each other. Poe watched; somehow, the film was making being stuck on a swamp planet (in Kane’s case) and being stuck in a cave-slug-thing compelling. 

”I swear, it’s like being trapped is a recurring theme in that movie,” Poe said. 

Ben laughed, surprised. “I should have thought of that!”

At least the princess and the smuggler had their first kiss — which, about time, Poe thought. And at least Kane was learning about the Force more — learning about himself. 

”So,” Poe said in a stage-whisper, “What did it mean, Kane’s face being trapped in Vader’s mask? Weird symbolism?”

Ben was smiling almost mischievously. “You’ll see.”

***

Of course the smuggler’s friend sold them out. It wasn’t really his fault, though, Poe thought. Vader was threatening everyone he was looking after. Even as Poe watched the screen, he wondered if he would have been able to tell Vader to fuck off, or if he would have caved to save his people.

"That was so fucked up,” Poe whispered. “How Vader made him help him.”

”Yep. Pretty damn cunning of Vader, though. And it shows how much he was willing to do to get Kane.”

”Yeah.” A beat. “Is Vader really that much of a sore loser after Yavin?”

Ben laughed. “You take that back. Vader is not a sore loser!”

***

Ben was at least right about that. In between cheering for the smuggler’s friend outsmarting Vader and being disappointed as fuck the smuggler couldn’t be rescued, Poe wasn’t prepared for what came next. 

”How...but how would he even _fuck_?” Poe said. “How did he even have a kid? And what poor woman was unfortunate enough to have his kid?” A beat. “Does the galaxy far far away have Tinder? Was it a one-night stand?”

Next to him, Ben was wheezing with laughter. 

”What?” Poe said. “It’s a perfectly legitimate series of questions?”

"I think the prequels cover those,” Ben said, wiping his eyes. “Really.”

Poe couldn’t say that he blamed Kane for basically deciding to let go and, when he got rescued and the princess managed to get him away, Poe sighed in relief. 

***

”Damn,” Poe said, long after the end scene and credits. “That was dark. I think Kane really needs some therapy after that.”

”Yeah, I can see that,” Ben said. “You know...now’s a good time to start watching the prequels. Filling you in. And stuff like Rogue One and such...”

”I thought you hated the Machete Order.”

”I modified it a little,” Ben said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. 

Poe snorted. “Well, honestly — I think you got me, Ben. I’m invested in these characters.”

Ben laughed. “I know! They are amazing.”

”And now I feel the urge to call my dad and thank him that he isn’t Vader.”

Ben snorted. “You do that.”


	3. “Is Casper the friendly ghost in this?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben introduces Poe to The Phantom Menace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“All right...got my popcorn, got my Disney Plus, and we’re ready to watch The Phantom Menace!”

Even as Ben sat on the couch with Poe, he couldn’t help but grin. So The Phantom Menace had its issues; Darth Vader’s origin story just started and Ben couldn’t say he was complaining. Hopefully, Poe would be just as invested in this character as he was by the time the prequels were done. 

Poe smiled at him. “You know, I needed some escapism after dealing with Terex in my class today.”

”Terex?”

”He’s a jerk," Poe said, and Ben suspected that wasn’t all of the story. 

"Sorry to hear that," Ben said. 

”No problem. How about we start the movie?”

***

”Okay, here’s what I don’t understand,” Poe said as the opening crawl scrolled by. “ ‘The Phantom Menace'. The title alone. Who is the phantom menace? Is it Vader? Is Casper the friendly ghost in this?”

Ben couldn’t help it. He laughed. “Someone’s probably written a crossover with Casper. I just know it.”

Pos grinned his little-shit grin that Ben found he absolutely adored. “Maybe Casper defeats the creepy tattooed guy and shows him the error of his ways.”

”Well, interesting thing about _Rebels_...nah, if I had you watch Rebels, then had you play _Jedi: Fallen Order_ , we’d only finish the Saga by 2021. I’d rather we continue this while we’re young.”

Poe did laugh. 

***

”Poe, light of my life, I love you more than anything, but if you start quoting _Taken_ memes, I may have to exile you to the couch.”

“Eh, I was tired of those memes anyway,” Poe said. On screen, Liam Neeson’s character was advising Ewan McGregor’s character — and Ben was relieved that Poe hadn’t started quoting _Taken_ once. 

Ben was still convinced that Voe had dragged him to _Taken_ just to see him suffer. 

“I just have a feeling this guy’s dead meat,” Poe said. "I mean, Alec Guinness’ character says that he was trained by Muppet man, so this new guy’s doomed. Then again, it’s a prequel movie; everyone’s fucked.”

”Try fitting that in a Tweet,” Ben said wryly. 

***

They met Jar-Jar Binks later, and the Queen of Naboo and her handmaiden. Handy (as Poe called her) met little Vader — and that was when Poe started to like him. 

”He’s adorable!” Poe exclaimed. "Seriously, he is the sweetest, most innocent future Destroyer of Worlds — he is basically Cinnamon Roll Destroyer of Worlds!”

”I told you you’d start to like him,” Ben said, grinning. Truthfully, he liked Vader — the sweet kid who thought Handy was an angel and the troubled young adult and the badass warrior. A great character, Ben thought. Someone who’d just go out of his way to help others without so much as expecting a “thank you”. 

Not to mention a prodigy. When Ben was nine, he doubted he could do podracing like Vader did. 

***

”Okay, this just isn’t fair.”

Poe said that when they had to leave Vader’s mother behind. 

”Seriously, this poor woman gets a raw deal of it,” Poe said. “I mean, she’s a slave, she loses her son and gets stuck in slavery...someone give her a hug before she goes Dark Phoenix on all of Tatooine or something.”

”Hey, Vader’s mom is an angel,” Ben said, only semi-joking. 

”Which is why she deserves a hug!” Poe said. “Damn, how is Cinnamon Roll here not basically space Damien or something? I’d say if he stabbed Watto with a lightsaber, I’d be waving my Team Vader flag.”

Ben snorted. “I’d join you.”

***

”Why is Muppet Man such a — well, then again, he did try stealing Kane’s food.” A sigh from Poe even as they went through the test scene with Cinnamon Roll (apparently the nickname stuck). “I guess his dickery evolved while he was on Dagobah.”

”Headcanon accepted,” Ben said, laughing despite himself. 

”Seriously, the Jedi really need to work on their child-friendly manner,” Poe said. “I mean, there’s a kid separated from his mom and his friends; at least give him a hug before he nukes the Temple with the sheer force of his angst or something.”

“Yeah, um...too soon.”

”Fuck,” Poe said, “I must be psychic or something.”

***

Poe seemed to still be pissed with Ewan McGregor’s character, up until Liam Neeson’s character was stabbed to death. “How old is this kid?" Poe said. 

”Fourteen, I think, give or take a few years?”

Poe whistled. “Fuck, that’s a hell of an age to lose your master. Do they not have therapy at the Temple?”

”Well, as shown in Revenge of the Sith, the Jedi also really suck at grief counseling...”

Poe sighed. “I think everyone could use a therapist.”

”Including the guy with tattoos.”

"Does his therapy involve getting over his rage boner towards the Jedi that was never explained?”

”...yeah, let’s go with that.”

***

The funeral was there. The celebration scene was there. Ben looked over at Poe even as Poe sighed. “Damn,” he said, “Yeah, the movie had problems, but that was such a cool way to introduce me to the Emperor. Like, holy fuck, what a great manipulator.”

”I know.”

”And I’m starting to really feel bad for Vader,” Poe said. “He was just so nice before he became...y’know, a black-masked monstrosity. Is it a thing in this franchise? The nicest people become the biggest assholes?”

”Well, not the Emperor,” Ben said. “But definitely Vader.” Then, “Next up, we learn how older Vader married Handy.”

”Oookay...I trust the filmmakers’ judgment here."

Ben smiled. “I knew you would.”


	4. “Did the number nineteen do something awful to George Lucas?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben introduces Poe to Attack of the Clones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Considering I’m watching TROS with oldestcharm tonight (may the Force have mercy on my soul. Fun fact; I didn’t start going, “Okay, WTF?” until the Kijimi scene) this seems very appropriate.

“Thank fuck we’re watching _Attack of the Clones_.”

Poe turned towards Ben as Ben spoke. "Was today that bad?”

”Oh, Hux decided to start being condescending towards me. Makes me wish that there was a Force Choke option on Zoom.”

Poe snorted. “Maybe Hux and Terex have their own supervillain meetups over Zoom. ‘How can we make these two’s lives miserable’?”

Ben snorted. “Yeah. Ready to delve into Handy and Cinnamon Roll’s romance?"

”Sounds good.”

***

”Okay, how are you gonna start the romance when she’s dead?” Poe said, even as the movie started with the ship exploding. 

”It’s not really her," Ben said. "It’s just one of her friends.”

”Ooh. Ouch.” Then, “How many years is this after The Phantom Menace?”

”Ten. So Handy’s twenty-four now. And our Cinnamon Roll has become nineteen.”

”Okay, is this like a weird number for Star Wars? Like The Dark Tower or something. Did the number nineteen do something awful to George Lucas?”

Ben actually did laugh. 

***

Of course, when Cinnamon Roll and Handy reunited, Poe sighed. “I swear that time traveler read my LiveJournal again. His flirting’s really bad...”

”You had an experience like that?”

”...yeah.”

Ben squeezed his hand. “If it makes you feel better, I’d say that your flirting’s actually very adorable.”

Poe smiled at him. “Thank you.”

***

“Okay, so they’re sending Cinnamon Roll and the girl he has a crush on to a beautiful planet with no Master supervision. What could possibly go wrong?” Poe said wryly. 

”Yeah, I know. It’s a little weird. Though, to be fair, Cinnamon Roll’s nineteen. He doesn’t need adult supervision.”

”Touché,” Poe said. A sigh. “It’s gorgeous, though. And I swear Handy’s wardrobe must be like the TARDIS or something; she’s got so many outfits.”

”Well, she was a former Queen,” Ben said.

”Yeah. True. Still.” Poe sighed. "Cinnamon Roll’s flirting is still really bad, though. I mean, it’s kind of adorable.”

”Hey, he’s nineteen and practically raised like a monk. Who are you expecting him to be, James Bond?”

”Touché,” Poe said. 

Bad flirting or no, Poe did have a laughing fit when Cinnamon Roll turned out to be okay after falling off the coconut-sheep-thing (as Poe called it. “It’s called a shaak,” Ben said to him). “That was diabolical,” Poe said. “And stupid. I think he nearly gave her a heart attack.”

”Yep!"

***

Of course, things got worse when Cinnamon Roll was gently turned down by Handy ("And he took it well,” Ben said. “I think more guys in general need to be like that. People in general, to be fair.") and then watched his mother die in his arms. 

”Is that the part where Cinnamon Roll just becomes a volcano of rage?” Poe said uneasily. 

”...yeah."

They both winced when Cinnamon Roll tore into the Tusken Raiders.

***

Of course the film...ended on a more ominous note than its predecessor. A war starting, Christopher Lee’s character scheming with the mysterious Darth Sidious...at least Cinnamon Roll and Handy got married, if in secret. 

”Damn. That got pretty dark,” Poe said. “I mean, I should have guessed Cinnamon Roll’s mom wouldn’t make it, but _ouch_.”

“Well...you think that’s bad, strap in for Revenge of the Sith.”

”...oh fuck.”


	5. “The Jedi Are About As Useful As Windshield Wipers On A Submarine!”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Ben watch Revenge of the Sith. Poe suffers a Sarcasm Failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“Okay, brace yourself; things are really going to suck.”

”Is that good or bad?” Poe said. 

”...you’ll basically be wanting to write all the Handy/Cinnamon Roll fix-it fics after watching this movie.” A beat. "Like...I watched ‘Doomsday’ with you. I don’t want a repeat of you throwing popcorn at the screen.”

”Russell T. Davies is a sadistic asshole and you know it, Ben.”

”Touché.” Ben said.

***

”Okay, this isn’t so bad," Poe said. “I mean, it is a little bit goofy and fun...” They were watching the space battle, and later the elevator shenanigans between Cinnamon Roll and his Jedi Master. 

”Yeah, well, it won’t last too long,” Ben said. “Just...treasure it."

***

”Well, you gotta give Cinnamon Roll credit,” Poe said after Cinnamon Roll just committed the murder of Christopher Lee’s character. “Cutting off someone’s head with two lightsabers, one of them their own, is pretty creative." A beat. “Also, if Creepy Chancellor Guy’s telling you to kill somebody, it’s a pretty big red flag.”

”Well, yeah,” Ben said. “Not exactly subtle, this one.”

Of course the Chancellor tried to get Cinnamon Roll to leave his master behind. Of course. 

"Aaaaaand another red flag,” Poe said. “Should we start counting the red flags as they start popping up?”

”Yeah, good idea.”

***

They didn’t count another red flag because Handy and Cinnamon Roll reunited. Of course. Ben looked over at Poe, who was smiling. “Y’know, watching them, it’s like they’ve been married for years,” Poe said. "They’re adorable.”

”I know.” Ben said, beaming. If he and Poe ever got married...well, minus the Force Choking that popped up later on, he wanted a relationship like Handy and Cinnamon Roll’s. 

Minus the Force Choking; that wasn’t a desirable scenario for anyone unless in BDSM play. 

***

"Damn,” Poe said. “Cinnamon Roll really has bad luck when it comes to dreams, doesn’t he?”

Ben shrugged. “Well, same with me. Though I never had like, any prophetic dreams.” A beat. “One reviewer said that Cinnamon Roll was a crappy friend to his Master, but honestly, how would he think that conversation would go?”

”Knowing his Master, I think he’d have a coronary," Poe said. “And then an aneurysm.”

Ben did laugh. “In the novelization, he’s pretty accepting of his Padawan’s secret marriage; at least, he doesn’t have an aneurysm.”

”Damn. Maybe they should have told him.” A sigh from Poe. “Too bad the Jedi really suck at therapy.”

”And grief counseling,” Ben said. 

***

”Train yourself to let go,” Muppet-Man said onscreen, “Of everything you fear to lose.”

Poe laughed in shock. “Yeah, um...I think Cinnamon Roll’s gonna have to agree to disagree with you on that, you tactless fuck.”

”I know,” Ben said. “I told you the Jedi really suck at grief counseling.”

Poe sighed. “Poor Cinnamon Roll. I mean, I don’t approve of him deciding to go all Darth Vader, but the Jedi are basically making the Sith look like a good alternative.”

***

”Fuck,” Poe said, “I’d...list the red flags there, but honestly, it kind of makes sense why Cinnamon Roll’s being taken in by this asshole: the Jedi are about as useful as windshield wipers on a submarine!”

”Isn’t the word ‘screen doors’?” Ben said as they watched the opera scene. 

Poe snorted. “I think windshield wipers on a submarine are even more useless. At least screen doors can open and close.”

”Touché.”

***

Useless as the Jedi were, Poe and Ben still cringed when they got to the rest of the film: the death of Samuel L. Jackson’s character, and Order 66. As frustrating as the Jedi were, they didn’t deserve that. No one did. 

And then there was Handy being choked. Vader and his master’s duel. The immolation scene. Everything. 

”...damn,” Poe said when the movie ended. “That was fucking depressing and dark. I just feel sorry for everyone in this movie. Well, except the Emperor. He’s a dick.”

”Understatement of the year,” Ben said. 

Poe laughed. “I think it’s time I started planning out my prequel trilogy fix-it fic. I’ll have to go and revise it the more movies I watch, but...”

”That,” Ben said, “Is an awesome idea.”


	6. Intermission: Poe Dameron’s First Fanfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe starts planning out his fix-it fic for Cinnamon Roll and Handy’s romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Sorry for the late update!

Poe Dameron’s Notes: How to give Handy and Cinnamon Roll the Happy Ending They Deserve:

(Okay, not completely happy. Still got to have a long way to go before they’re happy)

Point of canon divergence:

-Make sure that Darth Sidious doesn’t become a Senator in the first place. And that the Senate’s actually useful for something. 

\+ Chancellor Valorum redemption arc. (Really, Poe? How many people are going to read that?)

-Samuel L. Jackson’s character actually killing Sidious. Or Cinnamon Roll taking a third option and arresting Sidious himself. Maybe follow up on that whole midichlorians thing that Sidious was talking about? What the hell was he talking about?

\+ If midichlorian manipulation can stop people from dying (if. Assuming Sidious wasn’t feeding Cinnamon Roll bullshit), would Sidious he creating an army of zombies or something?

* Really, Poe? Zombies?

\+ Not a bad idea for a crackfic, though...

-Cinnamon Roll deciding to go with Samuel L. Jackson’s character to arrest Sidious. 

-Vote-of-no-confidencing Sidious

* * *

Okay, so obviously Sidious is the leader of the Separatists now. Cue him basically being like the Emperor if he was leading a fringe group. He’s not going to hold back, baby. 

\+ Be sure to make Sidious scary. This fucker is basically Randall Flagg with a lightsaber. Make him scary.

* Maybe there include the midichlorian zombies thing. (Really, Poe?)

\+ Cinnamon Roll and Handy have Kane and the Princess. (Well, shit, does that mean Kane played tonsil hockey with his sister? That’s...what?)

* Include the smuggler and the princess romance. Kane can be with...I dunno, an OC or something. Let’s make Kane gay. 

\+ Going to add additional details once I watch the Crimson Dawn spin-off movie. Then Rogue One. Then ROTJ. Fuck, Dameron, you have a lot of time on your hands...


End file.
